God is Listening..........

Have you ever asked yourself, "I wonder if God hears me?" Or, "God are you listening?" My friends, He is. Even when you feel he isn't or that He has washed His hands of you; He is still there, waiting for you. Maybe you are the one who isn't listening? Ever wonder?

I say this only because it wasn't long ago I felt this way. Matter of fact, I have asked God for several weeks,"Lord are you listening? Have you turned your back away from me?" I really have been scared that God has had enough and turned His back on me. I can't help but wonder,"When is enough, enough to God?" When does He finally think; "Okay I have given them chance after chance, but they just keep failing me and disappointing me. If they haven't got it yet, they never will."

Well, the Lord finally answered me. Yesterday was Our first Sunday back in church in over a month. You are probably wondering, Why so long? Well, the last time we went; Jacob's Children Church teacher came and got Joe out of the service. Jacob never stopped crying when we dropped him off at his class. Again you are wondering..."Let him cry, he'll stop eventually." Not Jacob.....not when he is that upset. They told Joe he was trying to escape out the door and then when they told him NO! He went to the window and was going to escape that way. So, needless to say, we have been to embarrassed to go back and we were afraid of how Jacob would react. But, I couldn't take being away from God and not hearing His Word. I feel that is one way the Lord speaks to us. So, I felt if I could go to church maybe, I would hear Him there. Then I could know if God has turned His back on me.

Jacob and Samuel were in the service with us....they did well, too. But it was still distracting and I did have to walk out twice to help the baby. So, before I knew it church was over and I felt I had walked away empty. I didn't hear God today. I was so mad and upset. Joe asked me at one point on the way home,"Why do you have that look on your face?" I replied, "Because! I don't know why we even went today! I didn't get anything from the message, the kids were in there with us. They were good but at times it was distracting. You seemed frustrated. It would've been better to have stayed at home. I sorry, I'm just tired and don't feel good." I didn't feel like myself, yes, but there was more to it. So, after lunch the baby and I went to my room shut the door and stayed in bed all day. I laid there thinking about the service, "Was there a time God tried to talk to me or tell me something and I just wasn't listening?"

The baby and I got up and began the night, dinner, baths etc.... When the kids went to bed I thought Joe and I would watch "Fireproof". We did and what a great movie! Loved it! When it was over we got ready for bed and went to bed. But I laid there talking to God and finally, HE SPOKE TO MY HEART! Out of no where a part of the service played in my head.....It was when we were singing "Amazing Grace". The Lord reminded me of a time in my life when I felt no one listened to me. I would sing "Amazing Grace" and just cry my eyes out. One night I began screaming at God, asking him "DO YOU HEAR ME?! DO YOU LISTEN TO ME?" That Sunday Joe and I went to church (running late as usual) and this woman was up on stage getting ready to sing and she sang "Amazing Grace". I began to sob like a baby. That was the song I had been singing all week and that was God's way in letting me know he is listening to me.

Well, last night the Lord let me know, again through song, that he hears me and that He has not given up on me. Thank You Lord! Thank you! I can't imagine God's love for us all. To be able to Love like that; I couldn't imagine it. But that is what he wants us to do. To love each other the way he loves us. To love unconditionally. To love when you feel that person doesn't deserve it. That you have given them chance after a chance, but they just keep letting you down; they just keep hurting you. I'm glad the Lord hasn't quit loving me. Most of all I'm glad, I have Him as My Father, my Lord and Savior.